madness: what writing a novel is really like

Writing. It takes a lot of preparation and dedication to write a novel. Much more than I could have expected. It is like a wrestling match, and sometimes I feel the novel is on top of me. A big bloke in tight lycra - not good. Sometimes I've got him in a tight thumb hold, begging for mercy. Each day is a little different. The focus that my day job requires can make the wrestling match harder, but it also gives me a lot of confidence and drive to pump out words. Medicine is a constant uphill struggle against negative emotions. You are hurting people to make them better, giving all your energy against negative feelings. Steeling yourself against the instinct to stop because it hurts too much. That's like the feeling of writing murders into a novel, you don't want to kill off these characters, but you know it has got to be done. Editing is a bit like that too; or like cleaning up a wound: you're cutting out the dead bits so the wound can heal.

So basically writing a novel is the mental equivalent of cutting the dead bits out of a 120kg fat bloke in lycra who's got you in a body press.

Thank fuck for yoga.